Saturday 19 October 2024

How Couples Met in the US Over a Period! Does this Scenario Reflect India as Well? What Are the Learnings and Messages for You?

Dear Friends,

Stanford University and Statista published an interesting article on how couples have met over the years. These samples are from the US or Western society, but there are some lessons for Indian society as well. In the 1930s, meeting points were as follows: Family 22%, School 22%, Friends 18%, Neighbours 11%, Church 10%, College 3%, and so on. After 50 years (1980), Friends took the lead with 26%, while Family dropped to 14%, Bar/Restaurant 14%, Coworkers 14%, School 10%, and Church decreased to 5%. Exactly 30 years later (2010), Friends remained at 24%, Online interactions increased to 21%, Family decreased to 8%, College 6%, and Church 4%. As of 2024, Online connections have surged to 60%, Friends 13%, Coworkers 8%, Bar/Restaurant 4%, Family 4%, School 3%, Church 2%, Neighbours 1%, and College 0.7%.

This trend may be intriguing to some but concerning to many. Every social scientist should take note. In 2000, Online was at its lowest at 4%, while the Church was second-lowest at 5%. By 2024, Online has become the top method, while the Church remains in the lower bracket. These trends challenge traditional family systems, friendships, schools, colleges, churches, and restaurants! The rapid growth of online interactions is astonishing.

The National Library of Medicine published an article (PMID: 30135799) on online intimacy and well-being in the digital age. The research is still inconclusive. While online intimacy is acknowledged, its impact on well-being remains underexplored.

Though this data is based on Western contexts, similar trends might be emerging in India, especially with the rise of online matrimonial platforms. Surprisingly, the role of family, friends, temples, and shared philosophies is diminishing. Ideally, these factors help build strong and often lasting connections. While not infallible, they have stood the test of time in our cultural system.

While technology provides new opportunities for connection, maintaining strong community and family ties remains crucial. Social institutions, including families, religious groups, and educational institutions, may need to adapt to support healthy relationship formation in the digital age. This kind of education is needed now more than ever.

How can families help? It is a collective responsibility to nurture relationships. How can religious institutions help? Faith provides support, offering detachment and mental comfort when relationships become strained. The concept of Karma—the principle of cause and effect, where a person's actions (the cause) influence their future (the effect)—is a belief shared by all schools of Indian philosophy. Institutions should focus on teaching these principles even more than modern education.

It’s important to recognize that no relationship can be perfect—this is not practical. If a relationship is based on wealth, status, beauty, or health, it becomes more complicated as all four are temporary and will fade over time. However, when a relationship is built on shared philosophy, family connections, or strong principles and values, even when strained, it is less likely to impact the individuals negatively. Karma theory provides a foundation for resilience.

Virtual bonds may spark the flame, but deeper roots outshine the game!

Views are personal

Ravi Saripalle

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