The Grandparent Effect: Old Wisdom, New Behavioral Science and Evidence

Dear Friends,

I grew up with both my paternal and maternal grandmothers. My bond was quite strong with both of them. With my paternal grandmother, I stayed in the same house until her death. My father had a condition with my mother—“staying under the same roof” regardless of any little friction, adjustments, or constraints. It was a small 1BHK house, and the second room was made into a kitchen as well as a bedroom for my grandmother and me! On the last day of her life, we were both sleeping in the same room. I noticed her last breath in the middle of the night and informed my parents.

We used to have sweet fights, sweet negotiations over 1 or 2 rupees, and, as usual, a few household misunderstandings at home. In spite of all these things, the bond was never broken. The same

was true with my maternal grandmother, who used to come home occasionally. I used to be an arbitrator between the two grandmothers, as there were always different points of view, like in any other common household.

Despite all this, my father managed to implement the “staying under the same roof” concept. While providing justification, he did not speak in the language of social or behavioral scientists, but he requested that we implement the same concept even after his death.

It was not just one or two families. In that generation, the scenario was the same in most households. In fact, every Shivaratri, we used to perform a drama at night. One of my friends and I acted like our respective grandmothers, talking about their daughters-in-law and their usual complaints. It was great fun, and the grandmothers also enjoyed that reality script!!

Oh, my goodness, why am I taking you to this concept today?

Yesterday, a Facebook article went viral. It was all about this: “Research shows that children with caring, active grandparents may have a 30% lower chance of depression. These children may also have fewer behavior problems and stronger empathy as they grow. Loving grandparents can give children a steady source of comfort, attention, and guidance. Their presence can help a child feel safe, valued, and connected to family.”

In recent times, 4–5 articles have been published in this space.

In India, our ancestors thought about this long ago and made it a way of life. Today, behavioral scientists share a similar opinion, supported by scientific evidence.

Along these lines, Lifen Zhao et al. (2025) conducted a study covering 20 studies involving 11,434 children/adolescents and found that positive grandparenting was associated with lower levels of depression. Riem et al. (2025) studied 10,000+ children and found that, among 3-year-olds exposed to greater adversity, grandparental care was associated with more prosocial behavior and fewer externalizing problems. Xu & Harrison (2023) stressed that greater grandparent–grandchild closeness was associated with lower odds of emotional symptoms, conduct problems, peer problems, and abnormal prosocial behavior. Attar-Schwartz et al. (2009) studied 1,515 adolescents aged 11–16 and found that greater grandparent involvement was associated with fewer emotional problems. Kirby & Sanders's (2014) study of 54 grandparents and 48 parents found that a grandparent-focused intervention reduced reported child behavior problems.

Indian wisdom and ancestral ways of living have been time-tested.

In the last 70–80 years, several influences have changed our lifestyles and thinking. We are increasingly moving towards nuclear families. In many recent marriages, living separately from in-laws has almost become an obvious condition.

Maybe after reading these Western studies, I am sure a big change will happen in our society again. Of course, implementation is not that easy. It requires a lot of adjustment from both ends. However, considering the depression numbers and behavioral issues among children today, it is worth considering this way of living again.

Do you agree?

Ravi Saripalle

Airport Divorce: The Hidden Cost of Modern Separation Methods.

Dear Friends,

Recently, I read an article titled "Airport Divorce: The Latest Travel Trend Helping Couples Fly Stress-Free" among Gen Z and millennial travelers. Initially, it made me curious, but after reading about it, I became more puzzled about the trend!

The entire article summarizes the following.

Partner A: Arrive early → check departure board → find the gate → sit quietly → queue early.

Partner B: Reach the airport at the last minute or browse duty-free → shop → eat → explore → arrive at the gate closer to boarding.

Trying to force both people into a single routine creates unnecessary friction.

So, Temporarily Separate → Follow Individual Preferences → Reunite at Gate/Plane → Travel Together. That's the Airport Divorce.

In a nutshell, Forced Togetherness → Friction → Conflict versus Planned Autonomy → Reduced Friction → Better Reconnection.

Though this is quite a simple concept, if it becomes a worldwide trend, it will be another burden on the marriage system. Already, the family system is struggling with multiple other divorces like Legal divorce (formally ended by law), Emotional divorce (married legally, but emotional closeness disappeared), Physical separation (live separately), Social divorce (the couple gradually stops functioning publicly as a unit), and Financial divorce (financial responsibilities, property, accounts, and economic decisions are separated).

Now, if we add Airport divorce, Commute divorce (travel separately), Vacation divorce (do some holiday activities separately and reconnect later), etc., the law becomes much more intricate and introduces new ideas into the already broken marriage system!!

Let's purely look at it from an economic and environmental perspective. It adds to the cost and significantly impacts carbon credits. On the one hand, we worry about carbon emissions; on the other, we deplete natural resources out of ego. Of course, there are a few genuine cases.

Divorce has measurable economic and environmental costs. Studies show wealth can fall by about 53% for women and 57% for men, while standards of living may decline by 45% and 21%, respectively. Environmentally, divorced households have been associated with about 46% more electricity use and 56% more water use per person, with an estimated 73 billion kWh of extra electricity, 627 billion gallons of extra water, and over 38 million additional rooms in the U.S. Thus, divorce carries not only an emotional cost, but also a significant financial price and carbon/resource footprint.

If we add these new concepts, the implications are much more complicated. These are my observations; my focus is not on airport divorce but on associated costs and carbon emissions. Maybe it is another deep topic in social science research.

Having said that, the consumption of never-married bachelors is less than that of divorced families. We cannot compare these two numbers from a research perspective, as a bachelor starts with one household. Divorce converts one household into two—adding an economic shock to the environmental inefficiency of smaller households.

Anyway, we cannot easily comment on this topic, as there are many reasons for divorce. The ego is one part of the problem. There are many genuine cases that I have personally witnessed. Hence, it is a slightly sensitive and subtle topic. Researchers cannot generalize the issue.

Ravi Saripalle

Won the Battle, Lost the War? What Is Your Equation of Value?

Dear Friends,

Alvin Foo, the famous AI strategist, recently posted a video! It was a 100m race at a school. The first-place winner received a few thought-provoking books, the second received a gaming PC, and the third received an Orange iPhone 17 Pro Max. Interestingly, the guy who won first, instead of feeling happy upon receiving the prize, looked morose and looked at the 2nd- and 3rd-place winners and their prizes. It looked like he was thinking, “Maybe I should have performed slightly worse!” The caption says, “Won the battle, lost the war.”

The obvious interpretation is, “The student who performed best received the prize that may feel least desirable.” The deeper question is, “Who decided what the winner actually values?” If you seriously think about it, they designed it right. The idea is to further inspire him by giving him these biographies of famous athletes. They wanted to nourish his aspirations. Having said that, at face value, it is discouraging from a material-value perspective.

The rewards are of two types—Material value: What is it worth today? Developmental value: What might it make me capable of tomorrow?

When we speak more about material values at home and in college, students/children value them more than developmental values. They are essential. Personally, I also recommend setting a minimum material value; otherwise, we will not be able to survive in this world. However, defining that minimum is becoming an issue at work, at home, and in society.

This has become an interesting question that has popped up in society: Is a salary of ₹1 lakh+, while living with parents and children, better than a ₹50 lakh package, while living far away but supporting relatives financially and emotionally, or a ₹1 crore salary, while living far away and unable to support them in any way?

Recently, a post went viral on PublicNext.com about the requirements of a bride—she earns ₹15K per month but rejected a boy earning ₹15L per year, citing a low salary. Netizens are outraged and said marriage has become a business deal. What is the outcome of this social symptom?

As per my research—and, of course, these figures vary from one context to another—I have arrived at the following figures. India’s headline CPI inflation was 3.93% year-on-year; urban inflation was 3.53% and rural inflation 4.25%. I would define decent as: reasonable accommodation, nutritious food, local transport, utilities, healthcare, some recreation, the ability to handle small emergencies, and 10–15% savings. A Decent Salary = Survival + Security + Dignity + Future. However, this is the most complicated and debatable topic.

However, when someone is spiritually elevated and does not worry about tomorrow, takes life as it comes, and remains peaceful, calm, and composed in any situation, the above definition does not hold true. The reason is that there is another gift called Spiritual Value. Not everybody receives this highest-order prize. I feel it is purely based on our past karma.

Essentially, real education lies in understanding material, developmental, and spiritual value.

Material value depreciates fast. Developmental value decays slowly. Spiritual value endures.

I am not that great at math, but a simple equation can be brought in like this:

E(t) = M₀e^(-λM t) + D₀e^(-λD t) + S₀

E(t) represents how the total value of education changes over time. M₀ refers to the initial material value, such as salary, possessions, qualifications, or immediate benefits. D₀ represents developmental value, including knowledge, skills, confidence, judgement, and personal growth, while S₀ represents spiritual value such as character, purpose, values, wisdom, and meaning. λM and λD indicate how quickly material and developmental values fade with time. Since λM > λD, material value is assumed to decline faster, developmental value lasts much longer, and spiritual value is treated as the most enduring dimension of education.

What is your equation?
Ravi Saripalle

Journey: Vacation or Survival?

Dear Friends,

During our childhood, I used to be fascinated by sitting by the window, especially on inter-state trains. If I reflect on this today, it gives us enormous opportunities to understand life. Slow-moving passenger trains help us to introspect deeply, especially as they pass through slums near railway stations, deep jungles, tunnels, different houses and lifestyles across states. We can observe the behavior and economic backgrounds of people boarding the trains. We will not get this opportunity in Express and superfast trains.

Whenever we traveled to Raipur, it was almost a 15-hour journey on a slow passenger train. It stopped at every station and gave way to express trains. In those days, there were very limited options for attending to nature's call because the train was often filled to 200% capacity. Once you left your seat, there was almost no chance of getting it back. Sometimes, we even slept just to reduce the biological pressure!

Recently, we drove from Vizag to Coimbatore (more than 1,300 km). As I am the sole driver in my family, I had to keep my eyes fixed straight ahead and avoid the side views. On top of that, I could not sleep but had to remain alert throughout the journey. It took almost one and a half days. The roads were sophisticated and uniform, and there was relatively little to observe about the habitats along the entire stretch.

You might be wondering why I am writing about journeys in this story.

Most of our trips are for recreation, better opportunities, or better prospects. They are usually optional and not driven by the struggle for survival. However, this week, two real stories prompted me to reflect on this subject.

A couple of days ago, I read about a female Amur falcon that had been fitted with a satellite transmitter in South Africa and later reached Finland. Her journey covered approximately 10,000 km in just 42 days. She migrated from her wintering grounds in South Africa, flying north through Zimbabwe or Botswana, then across Zambia, Tanzania, Kenya, Ethiopia, Sudan, and Egypt. From there, she crossed the Mediterranean Sea into Europe, continued through parts of Eastern and Central Europe, and finally reached Finland, her breeding destination.

She traversed diverse landscapes, including African savannas, tropical forests, arid regions, coastal zones, and European woodlands, demonstrating one of nature's most extraordinary examples of endurance, navigation, and seasonal adaptation.

Look at her resilience. She is doing it for survival. Her internal biological clock, internal map, and constant decision-making—finding freshwater, deciding where to rest, navigating unknown places, and avoiding predators—are purely biological, without any technological assistance. She endures changing weather, mountain ranges, and strong winds across East Africa; crosses the Sahara Desert at temperatures touching 45°C, often flying for long hours to beat sandstorms; crosses the Mediterranean Sea without rest; and finally enters the cool weather of Finland.

Another story shook my heart.

Yesterday, thousands of migrants, mostly young Moroccans, traveled from various cities to Ceuta, a Spanish city on the North African coast, hoping to reach Europe after hearing that the border had become easier to cross. In the videos that went viral, many were swimming with bare bodies and without backpacks against strong currents and cold waters in the Strait of Gibraltar. A standard Olympic swimming pool is only 50 meters long. However, these young men attempted to cross more than 50 Olympic-size pool lengths in the open sea under unpredictable conditions.

At least 60 people died, and those who arrived found little food, water, shelter, or any way to continue to mainland Spain. Hungry and exhausted, more than 48,000 of the estimated 50,000–60,000 migrants returned to Morocco within a day, their hopes of finding work and a better life-giving way to the harsh reality of survival.

A real education lies in understanding both a vacation journey and a survival journey.

Ravi Saripalle

From IQ to Spiritual Quotient: What the Next Generation Needs; From Climate Extremes to Educational Reinvention

Dear Friends

You may remember the festival of Govardhan Puja, which is celebrated on the day after Diwali. This festival is mentioned in the Bhagavata Purana.

The people of Vrindavan traditionally worshipped Indra, believing that he alone brought rain for their crops. Lord Krishna questioned this practice and instead encouraged them to honour Govardhan Hill, their cows, forests, and fertile land, as these directly sustained their lives. Indra, angered by this, immediately released torrential rain upon Vrindavan.

Lord Krishna responded by lifting Govardhan Hill with the little finger of his left hand, sheltering the villagers and their cattle beneath it for seven days and seven nights. Eventually, Indra realised his pride and accepted Lord Krishna’s divine nature.

You might be wondering why I am raising this now. As we speak today, there is absolutely no rain in Visakhapatnam, especially in our area, and many of our borewells are dry. On the other hand, Umargam in Gujarat recorded 1,064 mm of rain in 24 hours, becoming India’s third-highest daily rainfall ever, according to the IMD. According to available records, the highest 24-hour rainfall in India was recorded at Sohra (Cherrapunji), Meghalaya, with 1,563.3 mm on June 16, 1995. The second-highest was recorded at Aminidivi, Lakshadweep, with 1,168.5 mm on May 6, 2004.

This variation teaches multiple life lessons for the next generation. Seasonal timelines are changing. Weather patterns are changing. What we have designed and built over time, including shelter, food systems, education, and lifestyles, may become obsolete or insufficient. What we wear, our water-storage mechanisms, what we eat, what we learn in schools and colleges, the types of jobs we pursue, and our entire way of life may be completely altered.

The lifestyles of the Silent Generation (1928–1945) and Baby Boomers (1946–1964) stand at one extreme. The lifestyles of Gen X (1965–1980) and Millennials or Gen Y (1981–1996) are more moderate. However, the lives of Gen Z (1997–2012), Gen Alpha (2013–2024/25), and Gen Beta (2025–2039) may be at the other extreme. Intelligence is being augmented by technology, while seasonal variations will influence expectations and ways of life.

The IQ presented may not reflect an individual’s actual IQ, as AI plays a prominent role in assessment. The SQ1, or Social Quotient, presented may not truly reflect social interaction, as social media mediates much of that interaction. The EQ presented may not truly reflect individual emotions, as we are influenced by many designated days and celebrations, such as Valentine’s Day, Wife

Appreciation Day, Husband’s Day, and Siblings Day.

Theories developed over time have to change completely. Universities need to be overhauled in response to changing missions, faculty capabilities, divergent student populations, and societal expectations. Traditional educational philosophies may not suit the current generation. Dynamic universities will survive, unlike stereotyped research, teaching, skills-oriented, or civic universities.

Those who understand and adapt to this change will survive longer.

For example, if AI systems can produce a research paper within minutes, with greater accuracy and depth, do we require a faculty member who can write a research paper, or one who can trigger a research idea, conduct research using AI, synthesize the output, convert it into actionable steps, and inspire students to put it into practice? Similarly, assessment, pedagogical methods, and every aspect of educational philosophy will be affected.

The same is true of what we sow and eat under these extreme weather conditions. These too will be affected. Does buying a car, which once served as a symbol of social identity, make sense in a densely populated and crowded city? Should we save for this self-esteem product? These questions will increasingly arise before Gen Z and the generations that follow.

While IQ, EQ, and SQ1 may change across generations, one Q never changes: Spiritual Quotient, or SQ2.

Returning to the beginning of my story, let us pray to God to provide us with a sustainable path.

Ravi Saripalle  

Remembering Dr. A. L. Rao: A Lesson Beyond Leadership;The CXO Who Never Let Power Change Him;The Corporate Lessons We Never Teach.

Dear Friends

In these last 15 years of the Inspire to Innovate Storytelling Movement, I have written one story every week. Many stories are related to corporate success, entrepreneurs’ success, employability, carbon emission, and many other contemporary technology- and lifestyle-related topics.

But this story is personal, yet definitely a life lesson for many aspirational corporate leaders.

Yesterday, Dr. Sridhar Mitta garu, a founding member of Wipro, wrote an emotional post about Dr. A. L. Rao garu, Founding Member of Wipro, on his LinkedIn wall. (www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7484113269713137664/). Wipro Limited echoed a similar emotional post on their wall (https://www.instagram.com/p/Da7quyMsDSx/). Being the former President of Sri Sri University, they also resounded the same (www.instagram.com/p/Da5PZInjQxZ/).

By God's grace, I had the wonderful opportunity to spend time closely with A. L. Rao Garu, both personally and professionally. Rao Garu gave me the liberty to walk into his office as well as his home at any time. I also thank his family for graciously tolerating my barging into their home at almost any time of the day.

Many times, once you become a CXO of a large corporation, you act differently at the office and at home. Status, money, power, and network spoil both the individual and the family. For the first time, I saw someone in whom none of these four spoilers had infiltrated. I saw how a CXO can stay calm and composed in the most tense moments.

For certain issues, I become emotional. Like me, many people cannot tolerate even a small pressure situation. However, Dr. Rao remained a typical example of how one can handle pressure without hurting others.

Though we had a huge age gap, we used to share many personal things. In every piece of advice he gave, I saw impartiality, non-judgment, and fairness. The same ethics he exhibited in his professional life.

I used to say, "Many of your colleagues have started companies and become successful entrepreneurs. Why don't you start one? I will dedicate my life to your company." I used to ask this question countless times over the last 30 years.

I am sure Premji Sir would also echo me. He used to say, "I am from a small village near Vizianagaram (Gajapathinagaram). From there, with a small 10×10 office in IISc and a little-known company in those days named Wipro, I got an opportunity in 1980. I had seen one side of life, and Premji Sir gave me a different opportunity that I had never dreamt of in my life. I am indebted to Wipro forever."
The same he lived throughout his life—for Wipro.

He joined as one of the first few members of Wipro, retired as COO, and finally served as an Independent Director of Premji Invest until recent times. He remained loyal to Wipro.

Yesterday, during his last rites, when many founding members of Wipro visited him, I realized how much he had influenced them and how he had breathed Wipro throughout his life. He became the definition of loyalty to an organization.

Probably this influenced me and helped me stay back at Wipro throughout my corporate career. I joined as a fresher and moved out of Wipro only to change my profession to teaching. I admire a leader like Azim Premji Sir, on how much he influenced Rao garu.

Once you have a lot of money, unfortunately, the word simplicity gets erased from life. He remained so humble and simple in his thought process and never allowed success to influence his lifestyle.

25 years back, One day, early in the morning around 4:30 a.m., he had to go to the airport to catch a flight. The car did not arrive on time. I asked, "Shall I drop you on my two-wheeler?" Without a second thought, he said yes.

I see two elements in this—Work First attitude and staying grounded in the face of uncertainty.

I have seen many leaders shout at the driver or cancel the flight. He did not say a single word and simply moved on.

I cannot write everything in this blog. He remained resilient through many personal instances as well.

Many times, we ignore our family while being busy professionally. However, he was deeply connected to every family member and provided customized support, including special care for extended family members. Many corporate leaders and Gen Z founders should learn this great lesson.The success of an individual lies in helping the people close to them grow along with their own growth.

Dr. A. L. Rao, you showed a path to this life and corporate lesson.
We teach ethics and corporate governance. Maybe I would recommend teaching only the life lessons of great leaders like Azim Premji Sir, Dr. Rao, and others—"the life outside, the life inside, and the life innerside”.

Dr. Rao had that spiritual inner side. He left the body, but his soul reached the right destination.

Thank you for providing all the opportunities that helped me become who I am today, Rao Garu.

Adieu... Forever remembering you.

Ravi Saripalle

The Myth of Self-Made Success and Great Managers Build Systems, Not Stars

Dear Friends,

Forty years ago, I heard about an incident involving one of my relatives. In their village, an envious post office clerk hid a neighbor's offer letter and failed to deliver it to the candidate on time. He delivered it only after the joining date. In those days, the postman used to decide the fate of an individual. Think about it—no SMS, WhatsApp message, email, or any indication of an offer. The final letter would arrive only by mail. Any clerical mistake or personal grudge could decide your fate!

We all think, I can stand on my own, live on my own, and succeed in life without anybody's support. This is the greatest myth.

The strict gate-closing policy for NEET exams mandates that students be denied entry if they arrive even a minute late. Recently, we have seen so much chaos and the tears of children and parents.

The bus is late. The train is late. The road is blocked by a traffic jam. But they are all acceptable in society. Yet, let a student be two minutes late. Suddenly, understanding expires. The gate closes.

What I realize from this is our dependency on support and the ecosystem around us. No matter how great the achievement is, there is always some support behind the scenes.

A couple of days back, I read two news items simultaneously.

News #1: Better India posted this incident. Just months before JEE Advanced, Gunjan Kumar's IIT dream nearly came to a halt. A collapsed lung left him bedridden for almost three months. Attending classes wasn't even an option. So his mother quietly stepped in.

She attended every online lecture, made detailed notes by hand, and sat beside him so that his preparation wouldn't stop. A homemaker with a B.Ed. degree, she returned to her studies after years—not for herself, but for her son's dream. As if that wasn't enough, Gunjan was also living with over 70% vision loss. Yet, he refused to give up. He is now set to pursue Computer Science at IIT Delhi.

Success isn't built by one person's hard work alone. It is built by the people who quietly carry your dream when you can no longer carry it yourself.

News #2: A Class 9 girl brought her 1.5-year-old brother to school because, after her mother passed away and with her father at work, there was no one else to care for him. She chose education anyway—proof that progress comes from moving forward, not from waiting for perfect conditions.

An elephant herd rescues a trapped calf because survival depends on the strength of the herd, not the individual. Buffaloes form a protective circle around their calves, proving that systems protect their weakest members first.

Geese fly in a V-formation, sharing leadership and reducing the effort required for the entire flock. Penguins survive Antarctic winters by rotating positions, showing that shared responsibility sustains the system. Trees in a forest exchange nutrients through underground fungal networks, demonstrating that hidden connections create resilience. A beehive thrives because thousands of bees perform specialized roles toward one common purpose. Wolf packs hunt successfully because each member plays a complementary role in the system.

Our success is not ours alone! Many people silently contribute to our success. If we forget them, it is our loss. God will not spare us!!

That is why great managers don't build stars—they build systems where everyone contributes to collective success.

Ravi Saripalle