Investor-Founder vs Mother-In-Law (MIL)-Daughter-In-Law (DIL): Are They Similar?

Dear Friends,

Recently, I was invited by Tally Software to speak at the Startup Conclave as a panel speaker. Interestingly, the topic is “Term Sheet to Trouble: Investor-Founder Relationships That Go Wrong”. I was doing a little research in this area and thinking about which social relationship resembles this issue.

I felt that it was the relationship between the mother-in-law (MIL) and daughter-in-law (DIL). If we go into deep social science, the most common issues in this relationship are ideological indifference, economic indifference, control indifference, or psychological indifference. We see this in many serials, movies, and common households.

A few examples could be (I am only quoting a few representative examples; sometimes they are reversed, or they may not exist as well. These are personal views only):

1. Ideological Indifference (Difference in beliefs/values) – MIL believes in traditional roles (family-first, joint decisions); DIL believes in individual autonomy (career-first, personal choice).

2. Economic Indifference (Money & resource decisions) – MIL prefers saving, frugality, and control over expenses; DIL prefers spending on lifestyle, experiences, or independence.

3. Control Indifference (Decision-making power) – MIL feels she has authority in household decisions; DIL wants equal say or independence.

4. Psychological Indifference (Emotional expectations) – MIL expects respect, acknowledgment, and inclusion; DIL expects space, understanding, and trust.

In a similar vein, the investor–founder relationship is subtle but critical. A few examples could be as follows:

1. Vision Alignment – Founder wants to build a long-term, sustainable company; investor wants quick scale and an exit.

2. Financial Alignment (Burn vs Runway) – Founder spends aggressively for growth; investor pushes for cost control and profitability.

3. Control & Governance Alignment – Investor has board seats and veto rights; founder expects operational freedom.

4. Expectation & Communication Alignment – Founder shares selective updates; investor expects full transparency and regular reporting.

We have seen many examples across the globe. Let's do a small quiz.

In the case of OpenAI, Elon Musk was an early co-founder and supporter when it was initially created as a non-profit focused on safe AI for humanity. OpenAI evolved into a capped-profit / commercial model. Musk exited OpenAI (2018) and later became a public critic of its direction. It is an example of Vision misalignment.

In the Byju's vs lenders/investors case, there is a tension between aggressive expansion and acquisitions, and cash flow and debt repayment pressures. Outcome: legal disputes with lenders, restructuring pressure, and valuation concerns. This comes under Financial misalignment.

Steve Jobs had a strong product vision and wanted to control the whole process, while the board pushed for professional management, structure, and stability. What was the outcome? Jobs was forced out of Apple Inc. in 1985. This is a classic case of Control & Governance Misalignment.

Let's evaluate the Indian case: Housing.com founder vs investors—communication style, governance expectations, and leadership differences. What was the outcome? Founder exited despite strong early growth (ET, 2015). This comes under Expectation & Communication misalignment.

Having said that, the world cannot exist without the MIL-DIL relationship. It is most sacred. At the end of the day, they make the family survive. The same applies to Founder and Investor. They make the business survive. These conflicts are given, but conflict resolutions are scientific and well-designed. That is the art of life and the art of business.

Do you see any other alignment issues beyond these four, either between MIL & DIL or between Founder & Investor?

Ravi Saripalle

Wealth Is Inherited. Mindset Is Not.

Dear Friends,

Recently, I was listening to a podcast of GV Keshav Reddy (Raw Talks with VK - www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ52JaOnBp4). This is a bit lengthy but interesting. Keshav is the grandson of GV Krishna Reddy, founder of GVK Industries Limited. It is a conglomerate, including infrastructure projects (e.g., Mumbai Airport). Keshav is the founder of EQUAL (India's largest data-sharing platform). They are also building Equal AI. It will be an AI assistant for you. If you are in a meeting and get a call, it answers on your behalf and thinks like you because it has been trained over time.

The most interesting part of the conversation is about the future of AI and frugality. Interestingly, Keshav does not have a cabin in his office and sits along with other employees. I appreciate his open-mindedness.

He also spoke about how Elon Musk sits in his office. It seems he got an opportunity to travel along with Nikhil Kamath (Zerodha founder), who did a podcast with Elon Musk. Elon Musk worked the whole day on various functions, made his kids sleep at night, came to the podcast at 10:45 PM, and did a continuous podcast till 2:30 AM, non-stop, without any fatigue. Keshav heard from Nikhil that Elon Musk does not have a separate cabin and instead sits in the factory among the machines to supervise the entire operation. This is amazing! I read somewhere how the world’s richest man, with a net worth of $778 billion, lives frugally. He lives in a humble $50,000 ranch-style house in Texas and has sold all his houses in California.

When I joined Wipro, I used to wonder what Premji usually drives. One day, I had the opportunity to observe him as he came out of the lift. No security, no office staff, no signs of any officers, simply walking alone towards his Ford car and checking in. That day, I realized that a car is no longer a status symbol.

I still remember—maybe people from my age group in the 1980s/90s will echo with me. In those days, we used to press the toothpaste tube hard to push out the last bit of Colgate. Prior to this, it was Dabur Red Tooth Powder - Dabur Lal Dant Manjan. Oh my God! It used to be spicy! However, my father insisted on using that. Travel meant going to the nearest city within 60 km. Once in 5 years, we would travel beyond 500 km on a few occasions.

The other day, I was at the airport. Kids were bargaining with parents for an international trip. Parents were negotiating as a return gift for good exam marks. This is a wrong precedent. In fact, the "third-generation curse" was discussed in the above podcast. The third-generation curse recognizes that very few family businesses survive beyond the third generation. There is a statistic frequently cited in wealth management: nearly 90% of family wealth is lost by the third generation. If parents give their children this extravagant taste, the grandchildren suffer.

Cornelius Vanderbilt died in 1877 as one of the richest men in America. By 1973, among his 120 descendants, none were millionaires. Research shows that heirs inherit money but not the mindset.

Hitarth Dholakia, the youngest son of Ghanshyam Dholakia, one of the founders of Rs 6,000 crore Hare Krishna Diamond Exports, stayed in Hyderabad for a month to understand the pain and struggles of common people. This is a common practice in their family so that they inherit the mindset. This is the real solution before offering wealth. He had to live without the Dholakia tag and without a mobile phone. His father gave him Rs 500 and an envelope with a flight ticket. He did not know where he would land.

What are you doing to avoid a third-generation curse in your family?

Ravi Saripalle

The Life Choices of India’s Brightest Minds

Dear Friends,

Let's assume your son or daughter studied CSE at IIT Bombay. Right after graduation, he/she declares that they would not go after the software or corporate route. They want to explore life and career. They want to build their career on passion rather than on their college degree. Honestly, what is your response? If I am in that position, I would take some time to digest this fact. Maybe after some time, I might accept it, but it will take time to adopt.

Why did this question suddenly come up? I will share the profile of the following person. Can you guess what this wizkid is experimenting with in life? IITB CSE ’21 | JEE 2017 AIR 1 (360/360 scorer). You might be wondering: he might have gone for an MS/PhD, joined a financial company as a Quant Specialist, joined an MNC as a Software Engineer, or become an AI Engineer at an AI model development firm. Yes, right. However, it is not. Please read his recent post:

“9 years ago today (2nd April 2017), I gave my JEE. I got AIR 1 and became the only person ever to score a perfect 360/360 score. This day looked normal back then, but it changed my life. I went from yet another high schooler to national news overnight. The traditional corporate IIT route never appealed to me, and the popularity I enjoyed due to my rank helped me pursue many different careers. Over the years, I’ve been an educator, built businesses, spoken across the country, invested, traveled, and very recently, started releasing my own music as a singer-songwriter. I’ve been focusing a lot more on investing and music lately, and you’ll hear more of my music this year. Thanks to everyone who has supported me in my journey. In more ways than one, it is our story — not just mine.” — Kalpit Veerwal

Interestingly, this post prompted me to think about what 3 batches before the JEE toppers were doing and what 3 batches after the 2017 topper are doing.

2020 – Chirag Falor → From IIT CSE, joined but dropped; moved to MIT (BTech, MS). His final thesis is on quantum cryptography.
2019 – Kartikeya Gupta → BTech CSE, IITB; Samsung internship; no idea after that, as LinkedIn is not updated further.
2018 – Pranav Goyal → IITB CSE; Jane Street quantitative trader in Hong Kong; no LinkedIn updates further.
2016 – Aman Bansal → IITB CSE; Stanford MS (ML focus); now with WisdomAI.
2015 – Satwat Jagwani → IITB for 2 years; moved to MIT (BS, MS); Software Development Engineer at Cadence Design Systems.
2014 – Chitraang Murdia → IITB CSE (dropped); BS MIT in Physics; PhD at University of California, Berkeley; Physics postdoc at UPenn now.

After reading these profiles, I understand: same starting point, different lives. That is not confusion — that is freedom. Who is right and who is stereotyped, we cannot judge. But one common pattern I observed in all is that they use LinkedIn less 🙂. I hardly see posts, except a few. It means they are still focused on the path they have taken and are building on it.

I am not trying to highlight the rank, but I want to study the psychological paths of people in the same bracket in a country like India, which has a population of 1.4 billion.

If I have to summarize based on their profiles:
Kalpit Veerwal (2017) — Explorer
Chirag Falor (2020), Chitraang Murdia (2014) — Seekers
Kartikeya Gupta (2019) — maybe Executor
Pranav Goyal (2018) — maybe Performer
Aman Bansal (2016), Satwat Jagwani (2015) — more of Builders

What I realize is: not all toppers chase stability. Some chase self.

To all my parent friends-Parents seek certainty. Children seek possibility!!

Ravi Saripalle

A Lotus Stem, A Pickpocket, and a Life Lesson: Street Intelligence to Startup Intelligence

Dear Friends

During my childhood, I saw one movie. I was unable to recollect the name. In that, whether hero or villain, is still unable to recall, jumps into a huge pond, goes under the water, and swims across the pond and remains under the water for a long time breathing through a lotus stem. It was a fascinating scene at that time. I was wondering whether that is really possible? Can someone have that kind of skill in an unplanned or accidental moment without practice? This was my question.

I received an answer, maybe after 40 years! A couple of days back, an interesting incident happened near Jabalpur Railway Station, MP. In a chase that resembled a military-style survival drill, a suspect jumped into a moss-covered pond to evade arrest. To avoid detection, he remained submerged underwater for hours. Used a hollow lotus stem as a breathing tube. This man was deboarding a train and trying to flee after attempting to steal a purse from a woman in the train at around 4:15 AM. The RPF team chased him. To avoid arrest, he jumped into the pond. The RPF team called divers, launched a search operation, and finally nabbed him (Times of India).

For discussion’s sake, let's keep aside that he is the thief. Let’s analyze what skills this guy might possess. He has the Presence of Mind (Quick thinking under pressure to choose an unconventional escape route), Situational Awareness (Ability to use the environment (pond, lotus stem) effectively), Survival Skills (Managing breath control and staying underwater for an extended time), Risk-taking Ability, Stress Tolerance, and finally Adaptability (Responding instantly to an unexpected situation without prior planning).

What has been done is absolutely wrong. Had he used all these skills in a positive direction, he could have become a Film Industry Stunt / Survival Consultant, Adventure / Trekking / Water Activity Guide, Lifeguard / Water Rescue Assistant, Security, Forest / Wildlife Tracker, Undercover Field Research Assistant, or, more technically, an Extreme Environment Product Tester (Gear / IoT / Safety Equipment).

Rich and Poor are divided by their attitudes toward learning and earning. 20 Years back, I was traveling on a local bus from Ameerpet to Miyapur, Hyderabad. I was standing on the bus. There was no major crowd as well. As I was nearing Miyapur Jn, someone dashed past me swiftly. By the time I turned back, my back pocket was cut, and the person who had jumped off the bus ran away. In the evening, I received a phone call from an unknown number and was told that a purse containing credit cards, ID cards, etc., was lying at an isolated spot near Miyapur. If you want, you can come and collect from the slum nearby (the community hall nearby). Many of my Wipro friends suggested this is an organized mafia; it's better to keep your car away from the place. Keep a 500 note in a covered envelope. As soon as they give this purse to you, hand over this envelope to them and run from that place before they open the envelope. They expect more money and demand as well. By the time I reached, it was around 8 PM, and a few people had drunk, and exactly the same thing happened. They asked for money. I asked for my purse, handed over the envelope, and literally ran from that place.

This group possesses the entrepreneurial competencies. I teach Entrepreneurship to my students. If I have to decode their competencies, here is the mapping- Opportunity Recognition (Identifies target (victim), timing, and context quickly, Understands where vulnerability exists (crowded transport, distraction points), Execution Speed (Acts swiftly and decisively (cutting pocket, escaping, coordination)), Risk-taking Ability, Resource Utilization (Effectuation Thinking) (Uses available means (crowd, environment, network), Minimal resources → maximum outcome), Networking & Collaboration (Works in organized groups (informal networks), Coordination between picker, carrier, and negotiator ), Customer Psychology Understanding, Negotiation Skills and Resilience.

God gifts us with certain skills. If they are not misused and utilized ethically, the whole world can live peacefully and happily. Many elephants, lions, deer, and birds are happily living. Why? They are simply executing the God-gifted skills without much greed, not worried about tomorrow. They are taken care.

Plan life ethically. Outcomes leave it to God.

Ravi Saripalle

When the Mind Becomes the Battlefield: The Real Crisis Is Within

Dear Friends,

Recently, the Indian Society for Training and Development, VSP Chapter, invited me to speak on “Inner Balance in a Busy World: Living Mindfulness.” I accepted the talk not because I am a subject-matter expert, but because sometimes I am an honest failure. For that matter, many of us have failed at some point in our lives, unless we are spiritually elevated. Yes, it is true — we will not gain enough inner capacity unless we imbibe spirituality.

That said, only two kinds of people can speak at a time: the one who has succeeded, for obvious reasons, and the one who has failed, who can share those experiences so that others need not experiment in that direction.

I am really worried about a few statistics: 1 in 8 people globally lives with a mental disorder. India accounts for approximately 36% of global suicide deaths in the young population segment. Around 77% of employees report stress at work. Mental health issues cause approximately 12 billion lost workdays globally per year. They cost the global economy around $1 trillion per year in lost productivity. What could be the reason? There are many theories; however, let me present one perspective from the spiritual dimension.

In Satya Yuga, it is said that Devas (demigods) and Asuras (demons) lived in different worlds. Good and bad were clearly separated. In the Treta Yuga, the Devas and Asuras were on the same planet but in different countries. Rama lived in India, and Ravana in Lanka. The distance between good and evil reduced, and conflict began. In the Dvapara Yuga, good and bad lived in the same country but in different cities. Krishna and Kamsa lived close to each other. Conflicts became more frequent, and tension became part of life. And today, in Kali Yuga, there is no distance left. Good and bad do not live in different worlds, countries, or cities — they live within the same mind. The mind becomes confused.

Let me share an example of how our minds are confused and immersed in conflict today. Let us take the scenario of world wars. World War I was fought between “Britain, France, Russia, and later the USA” versus “Germany, Austria-Hungary, Bulgaria,” etc. In World War II, it was again clear: the “USA, the UK, the Soviet Union, China, France” versus “Germany, Italy, Japan,” etc. Today’s wars are confusing. There are no clear sides, no clear visibility. Determining who is on whose side is difficult.

For example (using these examples only for explanation, not in a real scenario), if my sister or brother is living in one of the countries on the initiating side of the war, I would support them. If my gas cylinder had been empty yesterday and our country’s tanker was allowed through the Strait today, I might take the opposite view. If a tweet about war wipes out my stock portfolio, I might blame one side again. If a non-friendly country is on one side, I might support the other side, regardless of my actual preference. In this way, the mind continuously generates conflicting signals. Obviously, this results in the numbers mentioned earlier.

Yesterday, I heard a talk where someone gave a beautiful definition of “rich” and “middle class.” If you are earning 50 lakh per year but, due to all the EMIs you carry, you cannot quit your job next month, you may be considered poor. If you have a basic house to live in, your monthly expenses are less than 50,000, and your earnings are 60,000 with 10,000 savings per month, you may be considered rich. If you are earning 1 crore per year but at the cost of your health, you may still be poor. In this way, definitions are being reinterpreted.

What is the solution to this? The answer lies in the topic I was asked to speak about. Of course, it is difficult to practice, but we should try. A new perspective could be this: the rich understand the difficulty of understanding and practicing this, while the poor do not even recognize the need.

Maybe I am still struggling in the middle class — both materially and spiritually!

Ravi Saripalle

What I Thought Was Joy… Was Actually Survival: Stories We Don’t See

Dear Friends,

A couple of my uncles used to work as linemen/line supervisors in the Indian Railways. They were responsible for track quality and maintenance planning. However, it was not an easy job. One of my uncles used to be a supervisor on the Araku (AP)–Kirandul (Chhattisgarh) track. Once, I visited that place as a child. I used to be fascinated by his job, watching him sit on a trolley as the gangmen pushed it. I thought it was a royal joy trip.

After many years, I heard that another uncle lost his life during this process. Then I realized how difficult this job is.

It works like this: a manual trolley (hand-pushed cart) is placed on the track. The supervisor sits on the trolley. 5–6 gangmen sit on the trolley. The wheels fit perfectly on the rails. One of them holds a handle attached to the trolley. He pushes and runs on the narrow rail at the same time. This helps to gain speed quickly. Once enough speed is built, the worker jumps onto the trolley and sits or stands with others. The trolley continues moving due to momentum. No pushing is needed for some distance. When the speed drops, another lineman jumps down, pushes again, and jumps back on. In fact, one of my uncles lost his life in the process due to an imbalance.

They used to work daily along assigned track sections (usually 5–10 km). They had to work in scorching heat (40°C+), sometimes in heavy rains, and sometimes in cold evenings. The responsibility was very high. Any small mistake could lead to major accidents. They needed to observe tiny cracks, loose fittings, and alignment issues. They followed hammer-sound testing and visual inspection. Indian Railways employs around 2.5 to 3 lakh track maintainers.

You may be wondering why I am raising this work now. An Indo-Russian consortium has bagged an Indian Railways contract worth ₹1,100 crore for track upkeep. The contract covers the supply of 18 self-propelled ultrasonic testing vehicles. These systems will use AI and machine learning tools to enhance diagnostic accuracy. These vehicles are equipped with sensors to detect microscopic fractures in rails before they become hazardous. Russia has one of the largest and harshest rail environments in the world. Their engineers are experts at maintaining tracks that can withstand extreme temperature fluctuations and heavy freight loads. As India targets the 160–200 km/h speed range for its premium trains, this is necessary.

Sometimes, I was unable to handle project pressures when I was working in software. Way back in 2006, I was the project manager for the Nokia website. During the Thanksgiving period, one of the modules was hanging. It was peak business season. If we did not get it up and running, we might have lost the contract. It took a big toll on me at that time. I really felt the pressure. Having said that, if I compare that with my uncle’s job, it was nothing.

A soldier in Siachen guarding our nation in -30°C to -40°C, a firefighter risking his/her life to rescue others, a honey collector climbing hills to bring sweetness to your home, a Swachh Sramik working in the mud to keep the world clean, a miner going deep into the dark to provide light for you, or a forest guard without protection safeguarding our green cover — these are real tough jobs.

Do you agree?

Ravi Saripalle

Multi-Calendar Living: India’s Hidden Superpower

Dear Friends,

Way back in 2004, I met one of my customers in San Francisco. I was the first person to land in this particular account at SFO to transition the work to India. It was a huge responsibility for me, as account growth depended on the success of the transition to India. However, it was a phase when Offshore Development Centres began (now they are called or have transitioned into GCCs - Global Capability Centres). It was also an early recovery stage from the dot-com bust. By the end of the 2002 stock market downturn, stocks had lost $5 trillion in market capitalization since the peak. At its trough on October 9, 2002, the NASDAQ-100 had dropped to 1,114, down 78% from its peak. Hence, customers were cautious about every move.

I was tasked with building a relationship with this specific customer and ensuring a seamless transition to India. During the process, my customer raised an important concern: the team was not in a good mood to transition. There were different applications, different teams, different domains, different managers, different organizations, and many such differences in this transition process. “We are highly methodological. How will you ensure this?” he asked.

At that time, I responded with one important cultural aspect. I said, “Culturally, we are designed to handle these differences. We can manage this without much worry.” Having said that, I did not have the maturity to fully answer that question at that age. I was hardly 29 at that time.

Yesterday, we all celebrated Ugadi, the Telugu New Year. I was reminded of this question again. If we think deeply, it is true — we are well equipped to handle complexity.

We all use the Gregorian calendar (January to December) to align with global business and official work. We file taxes based on the financial year (April to March) from an Indian business perspective. Our children attend schools and colleges based on the academic calendar (June to April). We also follow the regional Hindu calendar — in our case, Ugadi — which marks the beginning of the lunisolar month of Chaitra. This typically falls in late March or early April of the Gregorian calendar, and the date changes every year.

On this day, we begin by eating Ugadi pachadi, a unique dish that combines six tastes: sweet, sour, salty, spicy, bitter, and astringent. It symbolically reminds us of the different phases of life that we must be prepared to experience in the coming year. In a way, it prepares us for life itself.

Diwali, especially the day of Lakshmi Puja, typically falls in October or November. It is considered auspicious and, in some traditions, even treated as a financial beginning. On this day, Indian stock exchanges conduct a special Muhurat Trading session. Interestingly, the market is often bullish during that hour. That reflects the trust people place in that muhurtham.

We also observe the solar movement calendar — Uttarayanam and Dakshinayanam — which influences agriculture and rituals. It is not just about farming or rituals; traditionally, even the timing of death is associated with these phases, with Uttarayana considered more auspicious. This reflects the deep belief systems embedded in these cycles.

It is not limited to the Hindu calendar. Muslim communities observe Ramzan fasting based on moon sighting, following their own lunar calendar.

In the midst of all this, the corporate world runs on Q1-Q4 fiscal calendars to track performance. At the same time, children follow multiple exam calendars — sometimes four in a year, sometimes two, sometimes even more — along with competitive exam schedules across different timelines.

And above all, nature follows its own calendar — the monsoon, which is seasonal and beyond human control.

If I have to summarize, we as Indians simultaneously manage multiple layers: the Global Layer, Economic Layer, Learning Layer, Cultural Layer, Spiritual Layer, Cosmic Layer, Survival Layer, and finally, the Personal Layer.

When we are prepared for such complexity in our lives, we can survive and adapt anywhere in the world.

Do you agree?

Ravi Saripalle