Dear Friends
Recently I met one of my friends. He is always a good analyst. He made an interesting observation on the Indian Marriage System and how it is changing. Largely he could able to convince me with a few disagreements!
Traditionally marriages are made between known families of the same religion, caste, sub-caste, sect, region, and so on. Predominantly they are arranged between elders and family heads. They were successful because the common thread for all of them was family bondage!
However, off late, job migration, diminishing family systems, and nuclear families are leading to the disintegration of this type of marriage system. Even if, many of them are facing challenges due to a lack of common “Emotion” or “Vision” or “Philosophy” “Driving Agent”.
Today most of the marriages are happening on the following threads.
1. Institutional Marriages- Unlike family-driven, a large portion of the young generation is preferring to institutional marriages. They both share common philosophy or emotion. They are not worried much about religion, caste, sect, region, etc. In these cases, they work together on similar lines, hence fewer chances of disintegration. Of course, if any of the partners leave the common thread, they are also prone to trouble. However, at least initially they both make some agreement and start their lives. They also receive community support and mutual cooperation from other members. Communities share the responsibility of Upbringing their children as well. Hence, they attract a larger interest in today’s marriage system. For e.g., common threads could be as follow.
a. Families following the same philosophy from institutions like Kanchi Mutt, Udupi Mutt, Gudiya Math, Raghavendra Mutt, ISHA foundation or Art of Living, etc
b. Both the partners working on a common vision- Climate Change, Sustainable Agriculture, Poverty Alleviation, Business Partners, etc
2. Mature Love Marriages- Today a large number of youngsters are resorting to this model as they share strong emotions. However, the flaw in this system is the lack of wider family support and community support. As long as both are strong on their emotions, it works. If the emotions are shaken, trouble brews.
3. Infatuation-Driven Love Marriages- These marriages are definitely prone to fail. Both of them lose grip on long-term drivers, and eventually, they disintegrate.
4. Parents- Children Consensus Driven Marriages- Traditionally these types of marriages were prevalent. However, off late, this percentage is gradually diminishing as the process becomes tedious for both families.
These marriages look at various matching parameters like family history, horoscope, star, caste, nature of the Job, Package, location, appearance, social habits, boy’s/girl’s previous social background, influences, the financial position of both families, educational background of both families, and many more.
I asked ChatGPT, “what is the probability of matching 15 different parameters on 100 scale matches”. It said, 2.4% (If we assume that the probability of matching a single parameter is 0.5 (i.e., each parameter is equally likely to match or not match), then we can calculate the probability of matching 15 parameters on 100 samples as P(X = 15) = (100 choose 15) * 0.5^15 * 0.5^85 = 0.024, Therefore, the probability of matching 15 parameters on 100 samples is approximately 0.024 or 2.4%).
In this article, I am not saying/suggesting which is the best and worst option. I am only presenting my perspective which is subjective to correction. It is up to the boy, girl, and parents to decide which suits them the best. In this world, there is no perfect situation and match. Every family or boy or girl has to compromise on certain aspects. The less is more sustainable.
Note: These are my personal views.
Ravi Saripalle
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