Dear Friends,
Are you surprised by this title? A couple of days ago, a hotel chain posted an ad looking for grandmas. They named it with a purpose, just like how we all used to visit our grandmothers' places as kids. No qualifications are necessary for this job. Job responsibilities include vacationing on the job, performing audits, suggesting improvements, and creating content. I really appreciate the founders’ naming of this stay and their hiring of grandmothers, which reminds me of their commitment to preserving Indian ethos and values.
Having said that, why is this situation arising? Recently, I wrote another article on Fake Wedding events, simulating the real experience without a bride and groom. Thanks to the growing number of nuclear families and migration patterns in search of better opportunities, a vacuum has emerged. A new business model is emerging.
How many of us can confidently say that we lived with our grandmother during childhood, and also provided this opportunity to our children today? Very few! Living under the same roof for two generations continuously (for 50+ years) requires tremendous patience from all family members. A country border appears peaceful for 300 days a year, but experiences vibration for 65 days. The field marshal on the ground cannot simply receive salutes from the force but not face the bullets during the war! It requires preparation for both angles!!
Similarly, while the individual enjoys the benefits of grandparents’ affection and love, once they become parents, living with their spouse, their parents, and children “under the same roof” comes with responsibility and resilience. We cannot say, “I wanted the grandmother’s love, but I will not provide it to my children.” A coin has two sides. It is not an easy task. A boat voyage gives you a pleasant experience, and sometimes it encounters a storm. There is no perfect happy experience. If one thinks so, he or she is foolish!
Why am I writing this article? Alarmingly, South India leads in nuclear family adoption, with 69% of households (Kantar, 2022), up from 50% in 2008 — a 19 percentage point rise in 14 years, an alarming rate! Tamil Nadu, Andhra Pradesh, Telangana, Karnataka, Kerala, etc., are leading this race. I am not here to say what is right or wrong; I am only presenting the facts.
Having said that, there is no perfect solution. We cannot blame one side. In some cases, the fault lies with the parents; in other cases, the fault lies with the children. On a lighter note, surprisingly, across the universe, no party owns the fault! The nuclear family is designed to promote independence — both personal and financial.
Recently, one of my friends told me, 'How can we judge someone who has lived a successful life?' He gave a beautiful answer — A few minutes before death, only he/she can give marks to oneself on whether they lived as per dharma or not. No one else in this world can certify today, and no one else has any moral right to evaluate as well! Because we hide half of our mistakes within us and hide most of life’s truth from ourselves.
No one is exempt from this golden rule.
Ravi Saripalle
