Are we drowning from Aspiration to Desperation? The psychological cost of being "left out" now exceeds the financial cost of the EMI.

Dear Friends

Recently, I read an interesting article by Varun Aggarwal. Let's assume a massive auditorium with 362 million Indians. In this auditorium, the billionaire showcases his Rolls-Royce, the college student displays her new iPhone, the maid shares a photo of her daughter's wedding, the startup founder announces his "unicorn" status, and the retired uncle shares photos of his vacation in Goa. So nice, right? We all come to know each other regardless of our social status.

But, they are not just watching them. Psychologically, they are comparing each other. The post states that in real life, you typically compare yourself to people in your circle, usually including cousins, neighbours, and close friends, with a maximum of 50 to 100 people.

However, on Instagram, your comparison group became 1000 times larger, possibly 10 00,000 people. The 25,000 per month salaried individual watches the millionaire's Maldives trip, a Friend's new car, a Colleague's promotion, and an Influencer's brand deal. It doesn't put you in a positive mindset to work hard. It puts you into a competitive zone and tames you, drags you unknowingly into crooked competition. The middle class feels poor (compared to the rich), the Rich feel inadequate (compared to the richer), the Poor feel invisible (nobody's watching their stage performance)!!

As a Result, in 2024, India's personal loan market hit 710 lakh crores,

Credit card debt is at an all-time high. Loan apps are growing indefinitely!! Yes, many families are collapsing. Many young couples are opting for divorce after watching couples’ reels, assuming that the reel makers' lives are always fun, happy, and filled with togetherness. But in reality, there will not be a perfect couple and a perfect life. It is always a mirage! But reels portray perfectness and completeness!!

Many house tours showcase the best parts of their apartments, including the finest interiors and gadgets. They will not disclose whether they purchased through a loan or post-savings. It agitates and prompts us to make a purchase!

I don't get inspired by many of these Insta Reels, but sometimes when my classmates call me and share their 6- or 7-figure salaries, I get tempted. End of the day, I am a human being! It takes me back to my old memories!! Had I continued in my IT job, I would have been drawing the same. Or had I settled in the US in the late 1990s when I was deputed with L1 Visa, financially it would have given me a different comfort zone! However, I comfort myself that I could fulfil my father’s last wish to stay in his house for some time at least, and live with my single mother as far as possible. I have avoided unwanted corporate competition and sales travel, which has helped me stay in a Tier 3 city environment. This list provides some comfort in the wake of a huge financial opportunity loss.

Whether you agree or not, we must all be internally growing through these struggles. Nobody is an exception unless we are spiritually inclined and cultivate detachment. That is not an easy task. It is like a Bhagiratha Prayatnam.

Did you experience this desperation?

Ravi Saripalle

We Don’t Hear, We Listen: Lessons from Social Entrepreneurship and Science

Dear Friends,

This week, I discussed social entrepreneurship with our MBA students. As part of this, I was presenting about Mirakle Couriers, a National Award-winning courier agency that employs low-income deaf adults. I really liked their slogan, “We don’t hear, we listen.” The concept was amazing and forward-looking.

The WHO estimates that in India, there are approximately 63 million people suffering from significant auditory impairment. India is believed to be the country with the largest number of Deaf individuals. Approximately 1.5 billion people worldwide experience hearing loss.

For the first time, I learned that Deaf and deaf are different. ‘deaf’ with a lowercase ‘d’ refers to the medical condition of significant hearing loss. ‘Deaf’ with a capital ‘D’ extends beyond the medical definition to signify a distinct cultural and social identity.

I was also presenting in my class about Helen Keller, who was a remarkable American educator, disability activist, and author. She is the most famous Deaf-Blind person in history. Vint Cerf, known as one of the fathers of the Internet, a mathematician and inventor who co-invented the TCP/IP protocol, had hearing loss. Thomas Edison spent much of his life with little to no hearing. Having said that, sometimes it also provides an excellent opportunity—Edison was better able to concentrate on his work due to his hearing loss.

Louis Laurent Marie Clerc was a key figure in the development of American Sign Language and deaf education. He is considered the first deaf teacher of the deaf in the United States and is sometimes known as “The Apostle of the Deaf in America.”

Why am I driving this conversation?

Sheffield researchers are developing novel cell therapies that could repair the damaged inner ear, potentially reversing deafness for many. Currently, there is no cure or therapy for sensorineural hearing loss; the only treatments available to manage the condition are hearing aids and cochlear implants.

This research brings significant value to the community. It also has implications beyond hearing. The same regenerative principles could potentially be applied to vision loss, spinal cord injuries, and other neurological conditions where nerve damage is the primary problem.

Having said that, questions around stem cells—such as ethical issues, feasibility, and cost—still remain unanswered.

While we appreciate this research, in the mid-course, the only help we can render is to support individuals in all possible ways and not discourage them.

We never know what disability may come to us in our lifetime.

Ravi Saripalle

We are looking for Grandmoms!! A New Ad!

Dear Friends,

Are you surprised by this title? A couple of days ago, a hotel chain posted an ad looking for grandmas. They named it with a purpose, just like how we all used to visit our grandmothers' places as kids. No qualifications are necessary for this job. Job responsibilities include vacationing on the job, performing audits, suggesting improvements, and creating content. I really appreciate the founders’ naming of this stay and their hiring of grandmothers, which reminds me of their commitment to preserving Indian ethos and values.

Having said that, why is this situation arising? Recently, I wrote another article on Fake Wedding events, simulating the real experience without a bride and groom. Thanks to the growing number of nuclear families and migration patterns in search of better opportunities, a vacuum has emerged. A new business model is emerging.

How many of us can confidently say that we lived with our grandmother during childhood, and also provided this opportunity to our children today? Very few! Living under the same roof for two generations continuously (for 50+ years) requires tremendous patience from all family members. A country border appears peaceful for 300 days a year, but experiences vibration for 65 days. The field marshal on the ground cannot simply receive salutes from the force but not face the bullets during the war! It requires preparation for both angles!!

Similarly, while the individual enjoys the benefits of grandparents’ affection and love, once they become parents, living with their spouse, their parents, and children “under the same roof” comes with responsibility and resilience. We cannot say, “I wanted the grandmother’s love, but I will not provide it to my children.” A coin has two sides. It is not an easy task. A boat voyage gives you a pleasant experience, and sometimes it encounters a storm. There is no perfect happy experience. If one thinks so, he or she is foolish!

Why am I writing this article? Alarmingly, South India leads in nuclear family adoption, with 69% of households (Kantar, 2022), up from 50% in 2008 — a 19 percentage point rise in 14 years, an alarming rate! Tamil Nadu, Andhra Pradesh, Telangana, Karnataka, Kerala, etc., are leading this race. I am not here to say what is right or wrong; I am only presenting the facts.

Having said that, there is no perfect solution. We cannot blame one side. In some cases, the fault lies with the parents; in other cases, the fault lies with the children. On a lighter note, surprisingly, across the universe, no party owns the fault! The nuclear family is designed to promote independence — both personal and financial.

Recently, one of my friends told me, 'How can we judge someone who has lived a successful life?' He gave a beautiful answer — A few minutes before death, only he/she can give marks to oneself on whether they lived as per dharma or not. No one else in this world can certify today, and no one else has any moral right to evaluate as well! Because we hide half of our mistakes within us and hide most of life’s truth from ourselves.

No one is exempt from this golden rule.

Ravi Saripalle